Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
