I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
