just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So here I am, sexting at work.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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