I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
