I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Holy sore nipples Batman
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
