I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
