Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
