I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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