I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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