you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
