No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
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Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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