Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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