when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
