Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
