The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
