Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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