I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
