I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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