I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
