i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
