Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
