Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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