ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
