You're so nebulous sometimes
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
