Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
