I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
birth control should be required to get into college
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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