there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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