At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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