Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
