I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
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he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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