she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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