I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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