Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
