Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
