I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
This toilet bowl is my home.
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