Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
