Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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