She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize