I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
