The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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