just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
