We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize