her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
