The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize