so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The beer is more important than you right now.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
