At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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