David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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