I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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