I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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