just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
