No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
