Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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