first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
