I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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