things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize